I sat with the car idling for a moment, I tried to tell myself it was because I couldn’t bear the feel of the cold air again, but truthfully I couldn’t bear to walk the same floor that my father had for so many years now that he was gone. I had come to this office for years, I even worked here for a stint; I knew the walls and floors would echo loudly with his presence.

I heaved myself from the car, my movement was limited under the weight I felt to be carrying. Unknowingly propelled by the same strange power that had pushed me this far, I entered the front door of the office. The same warm face of the secretary and longtime friend was there to greet me, hug me, hold me; and of course cry. We shared a few moments of positive exchanges and then I asked her to speak with McCraben. Despite her efforts to hide it, I saw the twinge in her face and wondered what she already knew, or had known. I didn’t have time to think about it because just as soon as the thought entered my head, it was replaced by so many others that accompanied the sight of McCraben.

I tried to plaster a fake complimentary smile on my face, but I know I was not successful; because I know myself too well. “Ready to head to the bank?” I asked her more accusatory than questioning. “I already went.” She replied. What the hell? Why was this stupid girl continuing to throw lies and surprises my way? Did she not have any idea that people can only take so much bullshit from one person before loosing all of their sanity.

“What are you talking about? We were supposed to meet here and go together. Tell me how that changed.” By now the irritation was seething through my front teeth and the warm from my blood was beginning to rise throughout my body.

Kim took a step back as she answered (showing the coward of an asshole she truly was). I actually went yesterday and emptied the contents, I have them for you here if you want. Um yes you idiot that why I am here, I wanted to scream this in her face.

She retreated quickly from whatever hole she had crawled from and returned with a sandwich size zip-lock bag. Her trembling hands handed it over to me and I felt an intrinsic feeling of satisfaction that I scared her just a bit. I laid the bag down on the coffee table and emptied the contents; photographs. Beautiful old photographs of myself and my father, and Kiera and my father. I fought back some burning tears threatening to fall; not a hot chance that was going to happen in front of her. I thanked her for he photographs and then remembering the will and savings bonds, I asked her to have the rest of the contents.

“That’s all there was,” her bland voice retorted and I caught yet another glimpse of that stomach churning smile that I saw form across her lips just twelve hours earlier. If I am being completely honest, my initial reaction was to lunge and wrap my hands around her birdlike neck until she used her last breath to beg me to stop. However, I quickly woke from that daydream and made more sensible choices for the time and place.

I explained to her that I knew about the savings bonds and she herself had told me about the will. “I have a florist appointment at 1:00 and I don;t really have time for a ride on your sick merry go round again today. Instead I thought I would have the pleasure of choosing flower colors and combinations to place on my father’s casket. “So if you don’t mind, give up whatever ridiculous crusade you are on and give me what I came for.”

“He never wanted Kim to have those bonds, or any of his money for that matter, so I am keeping them safe; for Kiera.” Maybe it was the fact that she had lied again, or that she had once again begun to cry like a blubbering fucking idiot and I was sick of seeing her tears. Maybe it was because she couldn’t manage to respond like a respectable human being at any given time; But I am pretty sure it was because she had dared to utter my sisters name. Whatever the many reasons plausible, I stopped even trying to be nice right in that moment. My anger came from a deep place in my stomach that when released sounded like the voice of ten thousand people (a skill I had learned from my mother) and it truly was scary as shit.

“You are a ridiculous piece of shit. I cannot listen to you try and advocate for my father’s memory another second. Shut your mouth, quit your bullshit crying and hand over the safe deposit box.”

She continued with her tears and insisted that she would not do as I requested.

I laughed at her as I picked up the phone to call Kim, “and you thought my anger was difficult to deal with?”

I spoke with Kim for brief moment and relayed the events that had occurred in the last few minutes. To say she was boiling would be an understatement deserving of a crime. I held the phone away from my ear as she screamed; no need for speakerphone. She demanded to talk to McCrabed, who at this point had been reduced to a pool of sniveling pool of waterworks, literally the girl was on the floor. Can you imagine if Kim was actually in the room? That thought brought a little smile to my face.

I squatted down in front of McCraben so I could be at her level; squatted not stopped. I needed to look her in the eyes. I stared at her for a moment and then I held my cellphone up until it touched her nose. “Go ahead Kim, she’s listening now.”

Kim continued on her rant, choice words that I won’t detail at the moment, but all well deserved. She then informed McCraben that due to the exceedingly high value of the savings bonds, she was committing grand larceny. This brought McCrabens’ senses alive and I could see the wheels of deception spinning in her head. “Don’t fucking bother to think of another plan out of this, hand them over,” my voice was calm, low and full of intent.

She managed to stand her pathetic body upright and retrieve the bonds from her desk. She hesitated with what seemed to be the will in her hands, like she was contemplating another option. “I’m done asking,” I shot at her and quickly snatched the papers from her hand, secretly hoping she had one paper cut for each piece of paper in the stack. As I made my way to the door I told the secretary that I would see her tomorrow night for the service; and then the thought occurred to me. Holy shit, did this girl actually think to show at the service? Did she think she had a place? Well, just in case….

I locked eyes with McCraben again, “do everyone a favor and don’t think that you have a reason or a place to show tomorrow. If you feel like I unleashed a holy hell on you now, you have no clue what I am truly capable of. Just stay home, you know like you did the night he shot himself.” Trying to mimic the strength I had seen in Kim days prior, I took long, confident strides out of the office; I am sure the sudden increase in the value of my  purse helped just a little.