Heavy breathing woke me from a sound sleep. It felt as if I had only slept a few minutes, probably because I had. Perhaps it was the idea that I was laying next to a man whom I assumed had killed my father and was looking for inheritance money that had kept me from falling into any sort of a deep sleep. Part of me was completely disgusted, while the other part was a bit scared. What easier way for Steve to get his money than to collect from his dead wife’s estate? Was I more of a victim than I originally thought? Yes, these thoughts and many others kept me up for most of the night. Now I was forced to face the morning, and what would come from my day.

I couldn’t bring myself to roll over and look at him, hearing his breathing was enough to send me hurling toward the porcelain bowl. I kept it together and eased myself out of bed as not to wake him. I scooped Daisy in my arms and went for kitchen in search of coffee.

Steve had told me last night that his company had given him the day off to “handle moving details.” I was livid at the thought of spending the day with him, and even more so that he thought he could just continue on with this moving nonsense without even asking my feelings about it. He just kept saying “it’s all for the better, you will see.” You are going to be the one to see you shithead, I would say inside my head. Even if I had to keep my retorts to myself, it felt good to think them.

I couldn’t do shit for investigation while he was still in the house, too risky. So I took this time to mentally form the next steps of my plan. This way when the opportunity to snoop presented itself, I would be ready. Coffee in hand and Daisy in tow, I headed for the porch. One thing I did like about Texas, even in January I could enjoy the sunrise outside with a light sweater and my slippers.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t left to my peaceful morning for long. “Hi Baby,” I heard his voice from behind me as he opened the back door. I don’t think it was the chill of the morning air that made the hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stand up straight. “What are you doing up so early?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” I replied as politely as I could muster. “I guess I just have too much to think about.” I was hopeful that this answer would make him uncomfortable and bring the conversation to a screeching halt.

“I understand,” he said sympathetically. “What are your plans for today?”

Oh, not much, just figuring out how to pin you to the wall for murder and make sure you spend the rest of your life in a maximum security prison being treated like the bitch you are. Man, I had to get my thoughts in check.

“Not much, I was thinking I would start packing come of my important things. Do we have an estimated timeline for the move?” I figured I better act as if I was going along with this ridiculous plan so that he would give me some space.

“I need to be out to California in 10 days, and that is including the drive. I was thinking we could get the movers for the day before we want to leave and then get a hotel or something for our last night in San Antonio. That way we won’t beat our stuff there and have nothing to live with.” Steve sounded so practiced with these words, as if he had rehearsed them for days.

“Okay, “ I told him, “I can be ready, but if you don’t mind I would like to spend that last evening with my Mom, alone.” I added the last word so that he could understand this was not an open invitation to join my evening. Because truthfully, this meant I had ten days to get my proof in order and then run to my Mom’s house, with no intention of returning to him let alone joining him in a move to California. Although I found solace in the fact that this meant I only had to pretend to like this man for ten more days, I also realized that it put a short timeline on my plan for revenge. Shit. Ten days, I had ten fucking days to get enough information to take the DA and have him formally charged with my father’s murder. It felt like a dream, as if I had indeed slept last night and had been sleeping for days. I was brought back into my truth with the sound of his voice, “I am going to head out and do a few errands today, would you like to join me?” Spend hours in a car trolling around town with a potential murderer? Yea, sign me up! “No thanks, “ I said with the coyest smile I could plaster on my face. “I think I am going to stick with my plan of packing. I have a lot of things to go through in this house.” The last part wasn’t truly a lie, there were a lot of things I had to go through, mainly all of his shit. “Okay,” he said as he went for the door. “By the way, this came for you in the mail yesterday, I forgot to give it to you last night.” He handed over a white envelope that looked as if it belonged to another sympathy card. I was about to discard it to the side, not wanting to read the words “I’m so sorry for your loss” for the ten-thousandth time, when the front of the envelop caught my eye. I sucked in the cold air so hard that I thought I was going to choke. I looked back quickly to make sure Steve had already closed the door before I released the air from my mouth in a loud wooosh. I ran my fingers over my name and address that were printed on the front. There was no return address in the upper left hand corner, indicating that someone didn’t want me to know where it came from. But that wasn’t the strangest part. As my fingers slid over the shiny black ink I read the name that the card was addressed to Dana “Squirt” Smith. I felt tears begin to fall from my eyelids and I quickly moved the card away from their path. Squirt. It was a name I knew too well, but a name that only one other person in the entire world had ever called me, my Father. My hands began to shake as I carefully slid my index finger through the seal of envelope to reveal what was inside. Not a card, but yellow legal paper folded up neatly. That was what he always wrote to me on. Was this really happening? I unfolded the letter and starred at the handwriting that I knew all too well to belong to my father. I pressed the paper close to my chest and wiped my tears from my eyes with the back of my sleeve. I needed to prepare myself for whatever was going to be on this paper, and I couldn’t let Steve know what it was. Pull it together! I urged myself inside my head. I slowed my breathing and pushed the letter away from my chest and back into my sight. I started slowly and the words read to me as if his voice was right inside my head.